The way to master your monkey mind is to befriend it. This is the tale of my monkey mind and how I used it to get fitter.

A little over a month back I started working out again. Another attempt to lose that extra body weight I’ve lovingly collected during the past decade. Eating my way through my trips around the sun. ‘Couch potato’ is a real thing you know!

Now as fun as that is, there are some side effects to binge eating — an older-than-your-age body. I got me one of those too (Yay!). I’ve had severe back pain, zero core strength and multiple injuries. Yet, all these years, I’ve been hell-bent on blaming it on so many other things, refusing to accept the truth. Even to myself. I come from a family that bonds around sumptuous food and round bellies. So it felt normal to be on the “chubby side” of living beings. And I went quite far to defend that silly pride. I’d ridicule my friends for eating healthy and bonded with people over food and beers (Gosh what the hell was I thinking! Anyway…)

Back in 2013 back pain knocked at my door and I was to take two more years to even think about doing something for it (Yes, believe me!). Thanks to a family wedding, I developed quite an enthusiastic desire to lose weight and “look pretty”. I enrolled in a fancy gym and lost a smashing 4 kilos in a month! I felt fit and looked good to myself! Confidence was coming back to my horizon.

But, I quit. Stopped going to the gym because “ I didn’t have enough time”. It was an indisputable excuse I gave myself, and to others who tried to encourage me. The trend continued over the years. I had many brief affairs with workouts. And each time I cheated on a healthier me with gluttony & laziness. (It didn’t feel awful because now I was calling myself a “foodie”) Eventually, without realising, I fell out of love with myself.

Life kept rolling by and I aged (as gracefully as I could). With time, I started having trouble doing the essential household chores. I would wince in pain each time I did laundry or lifted something heavy. My lower back pain mounted, and at one point I had to be bedridden for a solid week. It was only when I became immobile that I saw how unhealthy I had allowed myself to become. I grasped that all the pains existed because my body had no strength whatsoever.

I used to be a national-level basketball player. Played some serious sport during my school years for over a decade. Seeing my body in its current state, I was shocked and ashamed of what I’d become. I spent years in guilt and shame over my lack of commitment to myself. I hunted for motivation but always stopped midway, not prioritizing myself. Not to mention the emotional impact this had on me. I did yoga & personal training, tried running and at-home workouts. Admittedly, these brief workouts helped but didn’t stick.

It was only a couple of months back when I moved to another city that I got the personal space to see what was actually happening. My lovely husband played a huge role. He helped me see that the reason for my ill health is my lack of respect for my body. All these years, I had been in a toxic relationship with myself.

I’m a person who works best if I know the source of problems. Now that I understood that, it became simple for me to solve it. I had to channel all concentrated focus to myself and my well-being. Being a people-pleaser, this was tough business, to put it mildly. My intuition was telling me it’d be selfish of me to bring in such focus to myself. The bias in my life told me it’s wrong to do it. For the lack of other options, I played along and attempted to fool my monkey mind by telling it I am choosing to be selfish from now on. My only priority is going to be myself and everything else will come after.

Well, guess what? It worked! For the first time, my mind was crystal clear. I ought to lose weight and gain strength side by side to ensure a real impact soon. The minute I changed my thoughts, solutions just fell into my lap. I found a gym that focuses on the training I am comfortable with and I moved into a building with a rooftop gym (Picturesque view of the city from the treadmill there!). I enrolled for 3 days week workout sessions with a terrific gym and began running on the other 3 days.

It’s been a month since. So many of my little pains are slowly leaving my body. I don’t feel tired anymore after daily chores. I’m pumped with energy on most days and get improved sleep. Oh, and I ran 4 sweaty kilometers after a decade! My professional life, too, has taken off much smoother than before. I’m seeing growth in all areas of my life. I feel a gush of love returning to my heart and am proud for being “selfish” enough to put in the effort. So here’s me asking my fellow empaths to focus on themselves for a change — be a little selfish, love yourself a little more.